Insights on Recreation
Listen to Podcast:
Finding balance between work and play is difficult in our modern world. In Chapter 6 of Standing Naked in the Shower I explain how each color prefers to spend leisure time, how they look under pressure, and what we can do to reduce conflict and the negative effects of stress. This happens to be one of my favorite chapters because it is filled with useful checklists and suggestions for making life easier, not only for yourself, but for other people too. Below is a little taste of a couple of segments from this meaty chapter.
Favorite Recreational Activities
If you were to ask 100 people to list their favorite leisure activities, you would find, not surprisingly, that those who share the same personality type generally often share the same recreational preferences.
Blues thoroughly enjoy the ____________________ things in life: sitting in front of a fire with a good novel, soaking in a luxurious bath, listening to excellent music, savoring a box of decadent chocolates, vacationing in an opulent resort, dining in a premier restaurant, strolling through a beautiful and fragrant garden, snuggling with a down-filled comforter, watching a celebrated theatrical production, visiting the museums and monuments of Paris, and so on. Of course, what makes these activities — and those listed below — particularly meaningful and especially delightful is doing them with _____________________________ .
Golds won’t indulge in recreational activities until they’ve fulfilled all their ____________________. Otherwise, they’ll suffer so much from feelings of guilt that they become quite miserable to be around. Even when they take time off to rest and recuperate, they don’t “cut loose” like their Blue and Orange cousins. Their activities still reflect all of their values. They’ll do the right thing, in the right way, at the right time, in the right place. Their activities are normally conservative, traditional, and formal. More often than not, they’re ordered towards a specific goal, such as improving family relationships, maintaining health, or entertaining others. Golds usually ____________________ playtime well so that everyone involved understands the expectations, rules, and time-frames. Even though they may appear to be stiff, proper, and constrained, they’re experiencing fun in their own way.
Most Greens appreciate activities that engage the ____________________ in new and intriguing ways. After all, they reason, the greatest adventures in life aren’t physical; they’re mental. Of course, Greens aren’t limited to sedentary cerebral activities; they have their favorite sports and athletic activities as well. In these activities, just like any other Green undertaking, they don’t do it just for fun — they do it to acquire competence. So whether it’s pursuing new levels of competence in a familiar field of study, or considering something completely different, Greens are up to the challenge. Just give them enough ____________________ and ____________________ and they’ll amuse themselves forever.
The perfect Orange activity is anything that requires at least ____________________ Hail Marys before one attempts it for the first time and uses at least two-thirds of the body’s available adrenaline. Even though some of the activities below don’t quite match that definition, they would if at the end of each item you simply tacked on the word “____________________ .”
What to Avoid to Reduce Stress in Your Relationships
Different temperaments are stressed-out by different things. Below is an abbreviated list of the behaviors you should avoid when associating with others.
Blues
- Dismissing ____________________ expressions
- Disregarding sensitivity
- Being overly critical
- Not expressing ____________________
- Limiting communication
- Severing ____________________
- Yelling or screaming
- Being cold or insincere
- Being ____________________ or ____________________
Golds
- Losing control
- Imposing frequent ____________________
- Acting irresponsibly
- Disregarding ____________________
- Being critical of over-achievement
- Denying opportunities to ____________________
- Being unfair or extreme
- Being disorganized
- Failing to ____________________ commitments
Greens
- Criticizing ____________________
- Restricting mental freedom
- Displaying ____________________
- Expecting display of emotions
- Forcing into social activities
- Disciplining in ____________________
- Becoming overly emotional
- Expecting blind obedience
- Being ____________________ or ambiguous
Oranges
- Backing them into a corner
- Forcing ____________________
- Restricting physical freedom
- Dismissing as childish
- Imposing ____________________ and rules
- Criticizing life-style
- Being ____________________ or dogmatic
- Ignoring their performance
- Demanding ____________________
What’s Next?
The next bonus issue of Insights will focus on childhood. You may say, “But I’m not a child,” or “I don’t have any children.” That’s okay. We’re on a quest to learn more about other people and their preferences and characteristics — not your own. The next bonus issue of Insights will give you some clues on how personality is apparent in young children, how to cultivate and nurture a child’s natural talents and strengths, and how to effectively discipline misbehavior.