When to Talk to Students About Temperament
Have you ever had someone ask you a question that sticks with you long after you have provided an answer? If you work with or have children, this can be a common phenomenon. Recently, just such a question crawled its way into the workings of my mind and took up residence.
The Question
It happened simply enough. An e-mail message chimed into my computer one evening from a participant in a recent training that I had conducted. I opened the door to my brain and double-clicked.
Hi! I am wrestling with the idea of talking openly about personality styles with students under grade seven. Could you elaborate on the experiences you’ve had and provide some suggestions or recommendations?
This is a question I have answered many times and with many groups of people. So I clicked “Reply” and went to work. About halfway through the answer, I heard myself telling workshop participants that no two children are alike and that we should celebrate that fact everyday. This little voice spun my original answer in a slightly different direction.
Getting Started
It is my personal belief that children have a capacity to understand a lot more than they are given credit for. Observation shows that even very young children recognize the differences inherent in people. In the same way adults choose their close friends, children learn early that it’s easier to get along with those who are similar to themselves. They also learn that it can be helpful to build friendships with those who are different as well. They don’t take a course to learn this information, they figure this out through observation, trial, and error.
This trial and error method works pretty well through the toddler and preschool years. Parents and others involved in raising children often offer advise and helpful hints along the way to smooth the rough spots that occur. However, when children begin school, a slew of other issues begins to move to the forefront of social development. Not the least of which is the addition of an academic program.
Teaching students about temperament
At this point (approximately grades K-4), children are typically not developmentally ready for introspection and analysis. Most children at this age are not ready to delve into the specifics of how their unique personality and learning styles affect everything they do and say. They are, however, fully ready to examine strengths and celebrate differences. It’s at this stage that they are beginning to develop respect and tolerance for differences (or a lack thereof). Lessons and experiences supporting respect and tolerance are recommended at this level of understanding.
Moving Forward
Once a child moves into the 4th or 5th grade, he or she is moving into a level of understanding that is ready for more specific information. That’s not to say that all children this age will be ready. There are many developmental and social issues that come into play during this period of growth and the adolescence that follows. However, they can understand and use the tools provided to help them move successfully from one stage to the next. They can practice the skills by putting them to use right away.
To successfully facilitate an understanding of the concepts of personality and learning styles, it is vital that the facilitator set up an environment of trust. Students must know that their thoughts are valued both by the facilitator and other classmates. They must know that they will not be judged or labeled by the choices they make or the thoughts they express. This means setting clear, consistent expectations and working on team building within the group. Students need to know that the ground rules are set and are not negotiable. Some suggested ground rules might include:
- Personality styles do not excuse misbehavior. Consequences remain in force.
- Every member of the group has a right to hear and be heard.
- It is expected that you behave with respect toward others both in word and deed.
The Bottom Line
So, when is it appropriate to begin an open discussion about personality and learning styles? As with many things in the educational arena, there are no hard and fast answers to this question. The move toward a complete understanding of personality styles is ongoing and gradual. In the younger grades, you may find it helpful to work on building trust and respect between students by casually celebrating different ideas, customs, and goals. As children reach the middle and upper grade levels, we need to move right along with them with the addition of relevant vocabulary and exercises for practice.
George D. Nelson
George D. Nelson, a professor of Theatre and Education at Brigham Young University, has a theory about providing educational objectives. He says, “If stating an objective up front will impede you, don’t do it. If stating the objective moves you where you want to go, state it.” The same advise can be used here. Think about your objective. Will providing specific information about personality and learning styles get the student moving in a positive direction? If so, jump right it. If not, hold off for a more appropriate time.